Present fathers : around but never around

“Had i not been there,
I would have never seen him,
She said he spoke,
But i never heard him,
He exists, I think.”

I dread to speak of absent fathers as it seems synonymous with our society as afrikan people, rooting from the ages of slavery and extermination. Where the spirit of the man, Woman and home was broken into a million pieces, but we cannot hide under the broken stigma till the end of ages, we have to rebuild what he destroyed,
We people of afrikan descend are aware that we are family bound or at least we were in our history and tradition. Even though the stats disagree with us but we know our ancestors built circles so no one was left out. We are part of one family. We practiced oneness inside our mud and grass harts before the mines and single trip trains to the city of gold. When the man went to the city; he was never the same.
This manuscript is not of fathers that didn’t stay, get me right. The ones that got away have heard countless out cries of mothers being mothers and fathers in a single breathe, i would like to speak on those that stayed and give a perceptional overview.
i think its appropriate to iron out the flaws of our current family structure for the sake of our evolution. I admit; we are walking on egg shells and it looks pretentious.
some men that stay and marry look like zombies and play the monster role in the child’s life. I don’t know if its part of parenthood as played out in many television series or what? Are you tired of passing on the knowledge you acquired? Are you that tired to give definitive insight to develop the mind of your children? It seems women are the only custodians of morals and tradition while he plays bad cop stuck in a dilemma of enforcing the law.
In our homes religion is used as an afrikan value system; our children are predominantly religious in their early years, Until they meet Plato; Then an unorthodox logical system breeds, i believe a home builds the core of the individual, Without this core we are just blowing in every direction the wind decides, it is necessary to feel comfort her and his firm love.
Are we not there to form the balance? Men and women are different but similar in ways, our relationships form a base to evoke the spirit of gender. We are not in competition, not better than the other. We just function differently to complete the balance, The spirit of her connects with the spirit of him to generate harmony to the environment. Its not a contest of dominance or control, we are relating in our ways through spirit.
There is absolutely no need to be around physically but never around emotional or spiritually. What of good use will you be in the future? Because as the grunting feelings tears the soul will you not commit adultery? Will you not hide your soul in another home? The issue is always the same, those that stay make it a chore to be there, always finding ways to run and live else where, because the make their homes a place of dead dreams and obligations, all the things you hate you keep them at the feet of your family.
There’s nothing worse than a man that is doing things for the sake of the other, you are no better than the one that left and uses a maintenance support court structure, because that’s what you have lowered your energy to. well kids pick up off energy, they can feel your heavy pretense. Sooner or later they will rebel the dysfunctional environment you created for them. Because we don’t even know our children, we are not spending enough time with them, we are not there. We haven’t heard them, we don’t know their strengths and weaknesses, their perception and logic. We gave them away to external systems and hoped they will make us proud, if they can.
The sad part is they don’t know you. They don’t know Your thoughts, fears and aspirations. But you are there.

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It won’t matter when it is said

 

Do I not remind you of that moon that hid in the clouds?
Promising the unpromised shine…
Like the warrior king that sat behind the castle…
We saw him…and it…

It was as bright as the purples.
Blue, green and fire…
We heard the melody…
And read the lyrics..
They were superb… Splendid..
He out did his does…
But it didn’t matter when it was said…

Like redundant plays…
Saying says…
She heard…the practices…
Of actions stumping…
Sweet meaningless nothings..
Whispered to henge..
Capture the neck…
Kisses of bubble floats….
Remember the say?
The say that said something was said…

Sorry we dosed off…
Sorry our favourite movie didn’t play…
Eyes weary…..itchy and waiting to complain…
Dream suffocations……
And lucid turns…
Please turn back..
To the turtle toe…
Dance toe to toe…
Sink in the moment of I saw tomorrow…
Wait!….
Did you hear something?

Eternal bliss…
Secret, sacred please hide me above the lonely cloud…
That one…
That has rhythm and soul…
My Soul sung and hung on the same oak tree…
Was it not all?
Time framed… Expansions…or revolving doors to the right…
I can’t be paranoid…
I heard a say…
There were words…
Sentences before nothing…

But it wouldn’t matter when it is said…
Like I..I think…I thought…
Stutterers of gut felts…
Genuine imperfections…
Soul driven…I drive something mean…
It loves…seen it?
Sorry I lost my mind….
Hard to believe…
Its a say…but it was said…
Like an “I love you”..
That won’t matter when it is said…

Amnesia : thoughts of a chicken

index

A couple of years ago I ran into a Congolese man at campus square in Auckland Park closer to the centre Johannesburg, he was a refined christian missionary recruiter selling Jesus with distinct, which is positive in its foundation; i see no issue in mastering your craft; there’s nothing worse than listening to an unsure person. stuttering and mumbling through the speech, the hot wind is better than that. I believe the white man has mastered his 8/10 in reaching his true potential; while we are barely getting by with our 3/10s, nonetheless that’s where we are, 4/10 if we are really getting better. we are simply not being what we are good at to be plain. we busy hobbling through foreign traits and trying to be the best we can be.

well this man sold me Jesus like a sales person desperate to make sale on a bad month, i listened to answer, i wasn’t having it, i was on conscious aggressive mode; where debates about religion was sport to me. he said all the common right things to spark my new found knowledge and mockery; like had it not been for slavery we would still be cannibalistic and barbaric, living in the jungle swinging from tree to tree or the new testament is the new truth. he spoke as a child that got ice cream after a beating. that’s how messed up our psyche is, we are grateful for the butchering, manslaughter, murder and rape of our people. and hope the wheel of evolution is true to us as the knife he took out to spill our blood, then seconds later we sat by him and hope he has grown a heart and a soft touch for us or he has found Jesus in the mistranslated verses.

the conqueror didn’t ask or ask to be pardoned, he poisoned the land and made sure everything that survived still had poison in its system. it was brutal and sacrificial, do we not carry the heaviness now as we did? we know he came, killed and never set foot in the forgiveness podium, he earned his masters in torture and thievery, that has been his strong 8/10, his arithmetic and geometry are stolen legends, his not spiritually embodied but understands the mystery of the closing 3rd eye. unapologetic he has build his empire in the greenfields of our ancestors.

while we are consumed in a system that we cannot just step aside and be free. well i wish somebody sold me the nommos on my way to fisher ways; or the Tree of life on my hiking trip. the energy we have for debates should be translated into actions on the streets not just to amuse our sense of scholarship. we are well spoken about what is not happening rather than what we are implementing.

we are intentionally or unintentionally participating in the slavery of our age. the damn if i do and damn if i don’t makes the head spin. from the 9-5 jobs for our semi skilled people, the degrees we acquire that give us bread and butter, the titles we obtain from a racist system that keeps us off the hunger, we are in the melting pot looking at better predicaments. we are slaves whether we are field or housed. it is non progressive to our being. i know it feels like something but its truly a slow death like purchasing these slave movies.

well thinking makes ignorance a blissful state of mind. the distortion of financial freedom, mental health or spiritual independence these are the battle grounds. but where is the practice of independence? at the church he build to count the conversion of black to completely not black. we are evolving at his command. following the death of a people and a race. it is truly amusing that we can sit in round tables and play the “woke” tags while we know nothing about our nature nor do we have a plan for our people. what is the future of the afrikan? rebuilding the man? the woman and child? systematic societies?

well the thought of our spiritual dynamics being barbaric is a pathetic mental disease. but the mind set thrives in almost all that are converted in to the deception of church or 21st century thinking, the so called schooled and aware. we are institutionalized in all forms; it is without error to say we haven’t had a black man that speaks black in a long time, we have had our 3/10s with a courted culture that evolved to an abusive state captured through the patriarchal system.we have traditional custodians, pan afrikans, Afrocentric scholars who still need reshaping of the black evolution not in the current supremacy system. since it seems the revolution is for the liberation of one illusion into another. we can debate the problem all day and sleep on it.

fighting white supremacy is one, but the mental attitude and spiritual state need cleansing too, we fought for freedom and independence with crosses on our chests or the mekkah moon. while our divinity was a mid day study. whom did we fight against with guns they made? think about it. independence was given as it suites the evolution of their race. not because the war was badly lost,not because too many of us were dying. nothing the man has given to us was meant to evolve us,
not religion, politics, school, material or better jobs has made us better human beings. but we have became better hypocrites, mentally corrupt and perverted souls. even in our advanced thinking the fall is the exclusion of the mass whom are under the poison of lesser thinking.

but should i blame a child born into bondage? he knows what he is being taught. he doesn’t know the great ka kongo, why would he; its not in the school system. its not in the national geographic. when I googled searched the history of South Afrika i got as far as the slavery trades in cape town. because the psychological effects of those events should be prominent to keep a people beneath their potential, not the victory in blood river or the take over from the strange ones. the cloth has been kept tight while transparency is being preached. the nature of the man was never to better us. it will not be, he cannot change his mind. if he lets you in his house wonder why. he has not forgotten.

No one can save us but ourselves

Our people are suffering because we are okay with them struggling, it is of no interest to the well being of our people. It doesn’t bother us that our people are beggars, petty thieves and homeless. Instead of looking at the root of problems we design bigger walls and employ white owned security companies; to help rid our hungry people from our hard earns. While banks rob us daily because its legal for them to charge 34% interest and bill you for every transaction you make to recover your own money. The law allows them to down right take from us but hungry people should be humiliated for petty crimes in supermarkets.

I winder, Am i my brother’s keeper? have i learned to care and truly humble myself at the situation we are facing as a race,
I see us move pass a woman with a baby on her back, even throw a rand to ease our soul from this dirt. Is that all you had? Are you showing off your sense of concern? of course it’s not our concern, she is not our immediate family. These boys at the front doors of kfs, chicken licken and these other poisonous food stores are not our siblings. This sense of always being busy and always tired, makes us lose sight of the real truth.

I remember watching a documentary about the death of Steve Biko and something caught my attention. A gentleman spoke about activists that were detained and their families, he said when a father or mother is detained by the police; the community is responsible to look after their children. Black people are a family, have always been. Maybe we have forgotten how to be black.

We have to understand where we are and regenerate a sense of structure as our forefathers had; maybe do better. These new initiations are dysfunctional. Many boys have not been taught how to be men, many men are still boys, it is the same in our girls and women, the effects are clear as day light. Parties, Smoking and alcohol are the new initiation schools. Nothing substantial, its a cycle of regrets, bullshiting our way into maturity while raising kids in the process.

Many of us have boldly claimed we are pro black while in support of nothing black owned and black empowering, we are under the illusion that wearing a dashiki or beards or a tshirt with an afro or a map of the continent from these major retails empowers our people. Tfg or edcon or Mr price is not problack; their quest is not to empower you But to make profit of us through credit purchase and mass sales .

our people are not allowed to sell in malls; but our people are always in malls, thats why soo many malls are invading our communities. We are great consumers and not great investors. I once saw a show about young rich blacks; and all of it was based on what they buy and bought. Showing of designer clothes and cars and restaurants they eat in, just to magnify how the black haves think, it is no different from the middle wagers. Consumption is order of the day.

So do not be fooled by the so called black entrepreneurs that open franchises reselling the same brands. Owning a McDonald’s franchise don’t make you an entrepreneur and buying from that same enterprise is not pro black brother. If its hard work to be pro black then don’t claim to be. Black products are expensive because it is expensive to make them without a support structure and financial backing from other black people. Black businesses are extremely difficult to sustain especially if it promotes genuine pride and consciousness.

So i plead; If you are not supporting your people consciously, then do not advocate a false reality of attaining economic freedom as a race. You are for the white supremacy structure, finding pleasure in the struggle of your people.
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Studying to get hired

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The education system is like an arranged marriage to a black child; as time goes by she will learn to love and appreciate it like there’s no other choice. Because  in truth there isn’t, Either you are  certified or your struggling to make ends meet, its a pretty straight forward reality with limited deviations from those who are willing to create other possibilities; because that is the dilemma one is faced  with during their schooling.  Obviously after you realise that colouring  outside the lines is not a life and death situation; It just untidy.

But as soon as you notice  that the bread is not buttered on both sides on your lunchbox. You base your decisions on bread. What will give me endless supply of bread. How can i get bread; that’s a stomach grumbling dream on all fronts, one is consumed by the lack of resources. Then the system brings the light to you, with fantastic escapes “education is the key to success”. Without assuring freedom you have married an education system to feed your hunger. You have forced loved it. It grew into you and opened your eyes to other forced talents you can acquire if you put your heart and mind into them.

With a massive media bombardment on the other hand to help you  choose your career wisely and study the right AB and Cs, while rationalising sums with high school friday motivators.  With a core slogan of “do what you love”; but not further than being an engineer, accountant or doctor. These are basic fields of success portrayed to a fragile mind. Of course as you go on you find endless but limited possibilities to choose from. Just to keep your head above water. A certain course can get you  a bit further in life.

Our greatest motivation is poverty, the struggle has produced distinctions and A students from damn near impossible situations to underdog headlines.  But are we attentive to the basic need of education? Are we processing how we choose a course? Apply for a job?  The situation creates the career path, there can only be freedom as soon as the need to survive is omitted. Hence a huge up roar was made by corporates and companies  that graduates are never ready to start working. To a point that  a readiness programme was implemented alongside learnerships and internships to prepare the student for work or to remind the student what they studied because most don’t remember due to the fact that they are trying to move into what brought them to study. Which is to survive. To get out of a situation  but it forms roots of psychological distress and forgetfulness.

Its easy to forget what you never really loved doing; in truth we study to pass, to get that 50% and move on to the next level so we can start earning. Its not a matter of conscious skill development  and uplifting the community  as we rave in our resumes and testimonials.  The back of the mind is always the chance of hunger which petrifies us. There’s no sense of freedom, whereas we see the disjoint to build family business because the fundamental idea of the career is employee based. There never was passion but a bit of determination when it started of,

So we dig deep through sleepless nights and bioplus consumption to keep the right score for that dream job to be a reality. A dream reality because in your sleep you manifest it. You made it yours. As time goes by you see that it’s a virtual reality too with other  people that hate their jobs but need them. They do what they gotta do even if it kills them. Because the same education system produces fractions of how a forced talent feels like in the long run. We see it in different professions how employees are about the salary day but feel heavy through out the month.

The graduate cannot comprehend reality because it has never been. It has been a concentration camp of fear, even the most successful he gets swallowed into a lifestyle of keeping up and staying away from poverty.

How can he uplift the community; By building bigger walls and sending his kids to expensive private schools? Showing off the latest range of food, attire and cars? His basic need for education is now visible. He was studying t

s, its a pretty straight forward reality with limited deviations from those who are willing to create other possibilities; because that is the dilemma one is faced  with during schooling.  Obviously after you realise that colouring  outside the lines is not a life and death situation. It just untidy.

But as soon as you notice  that the bread is not buttered on both sides on your lunchbox. You base your decisions on bread. What will give me endless supply of bread. How can i get bread; that’s a stomach grumbling dream on all fronts, one is consumed by the lack of resources. Then the system brings the light to you, with fantastic escapes “education is the key to success”. Without assuring freedom you have married an education system to feed your hunger. You have forced loved it. It grew into you and opened your eyes to other forced talents you can acquire if you put your heart and mind into them.

With a massive media bombardment on the other hand to help you  choose your career wisely and study the right AB and Cs, while rationalising sums with high school friday motivators.  With a core slogan of “do what you love”; but not further than being an engineer, accountant or doctor. These are basic fields of success portrayed to a fragile mind. Of course as you go on you find endless but limited possibilities to choose from. Just to keep your head above water. A certain course can get you  a bit further in life.

Our greatest motivation is poverty, the struggle has produced distinctions and A students from damn near impossible situations to underdog headlines.  But are we attentive to the basic need of education? Are we processing how we choose a course? Apply for a job?  The situation creates the career path, there can only be freedom as soon as the need to survive is omitted. Hence a huge roar was made by corporates and companies  that graduates are never ready to start working. To a point that  a readiness programme was implemented alongside learnerships and internships to prepare the student for work or to remind the student what they studied because most don’t remember due to the fact that they are trying to move into what brought them to study. Which is to survive with roots of psychological distress and forgetfulness.

Its easy to forget what you never really loved doing; in truth we study to pass, to get that 50% and move on to the next level so we can start earning. Its not a matter of conscious skill development  and uplifting the community  as we rave in our resumes and testimonials.  The back of the mind is always the chance of hunger which petrifies us. There’s no sense of freedom, whereas we see the disjoint to build family business because the fundamental idea of the career is employee based. There never was passion but a bit of determination when it started of,

So we dig deep through sleepless nights and bioplus consumption to keep the right score for that dream job to be a reality. A dream reality because in your sleep you manifest it. You made it yours. As time goes by you see that it’s a virtual reality too with other  people that hate their jobs but need them. They do what they gotta do even if it kills them. Because the same education system produces fractions of how a forced talent feels like in the long run. We see it in different professions how employees are about the salary day but feel heavy through out the month.

The graduate cannot comprehend reality because it has never been. It has been a concentration camp of fear, even the most successful he gets swallowed into a lifestyle of keeping up and staying away from poverty.

How can he uplift the community; By building bigger walls and sending his kids to expensive private schools? Showing off the latest range of food, attire and cars? His basic need for education is now visible. It never meant notThe education system is like an arranged marriage to a black child; as time goes by she will learn to love and appreciate it like there’s no other choice. Because  in truth there isn’t, Either you are  certified or your struggling to make ends, its a pretty straight forward reality with limited deviations from those who are willing to create other possibilities; because that is the dilemma one is faced  with during schooling.  Obviously after you realise that colouring  outside the lines is not a life and death situation. It just untidy.

But as soon as you notice  that the bread is not buttered on both sides on your lunchbox. You base your decisions on bread. What will give me endless supply of bread. How can i get bread; that’s a stomach grumbling dream on all fronts, one is consumed by the lack of resources. Then the system brings the light to you, with fantastic escapes “education is the key to success”. Without assuring freedom you have married an education system to feed your hunger. You have forced loved it. It grew into you and opened your eyes to other forced talents you can acquire if you put your heart and mind into them.

With a massive media bombardment on the other hand to help you  choose your career wisely and study the right AB and Cs, while rationalising sums with high school friday motivators.  With a core slogan of “do what you love”; but not further than being an engineer, accountant or doctor. These are basic fields of success portrayed to a fragile mind. Of course as you go on you find endless but limited possibilities to choose from. Just to keep your head above water. A certain course can get you  a bit further in life.

Our greatest motivation is poverty, the struggle has produced distinctions and A students from damn near impossible situations to underdog headlines.  But are we attentive to the basic need of education? Are we processing how we choose a course? Apply for a job?  The situation creates the career path, there can only be freedom as soon as the need to survive is omitted. Hence a huge roar was made by corporates and companies  that graduates are never ready to start working. To a point that  a readiness programme was implemented alongside learnerships and internships to prepare the student for work or to remind the student what they studied because most don’t remember due to the fact that they are trying to move into what brought them to study. Which is to survive with roots of psychological distress and forgetfulness.

Its easy to forget what you never really loved doing; in truth we study to pass, to get that 50% and move on to the next level so we can start earning. Its not a matter of conscious skill development  and uplifting the community  as we rave in our resumes and testimonials.  The back of the mind is always the chance of hunger which petrifies us. There’s no sense of freedom, whereas we see the disjoint to build family business because the fundamental idea of the career is employee based. There never was passion but a bit of determination when it started of,

So we dig deep through sleepless nights and bioplus consumption to keep the right score for that dream job to be a reality. A dream reality because in your sleep you manifest it. You made it yours. As time goes by you see that it’s a virtual reality too with countless other  people that hate their jobs but need them. They do what they gotta do even if it kills them. Because the same education system produces fractions of how a forced talent feels like in the long run. We see it in different professions how employees are about the salary day but feel heavy through out the month.

The graduate cannot comprehend reality because it has never been. It has been a concentration camp of fear, even the most successful gets swallowed into a lifestyle of keeping up and staying away from poverty.

How can they uplift the community; By building bigger walls and sending they kids to expensive private schools? Showing off the latest range of food, attire and cars? Their basic need for education is now visible. It was never meant to educate them or to create a better society.

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Isn’t it a roller coaster to be a constant streamer of the headline news? Well to me it is, i even feel like i might be developing symptoms of bipolar. Maybe that is the design of how the “news” are altered and reported. The latest out cry is the gupta matter and its news spread. I like the truth, and i believe every one of us is interested in knowing the truth. But with the media, the truth is always further; just a bit further.

As much as there is interest in the ethics and business credibility of this gupta family in relation with our “Economic” downfall. I think its fair to do the same checks with multi billion companies on our shores; if truly we are looking for the truth. I do not remember the legitimacy of our major JSE investors being investigated since the country is still under colonial rule. I don’t think we are allowed to question our landlords. Its quite puzzling to mentally process these issues after the media frenzy of 1994 so called freedom achieved. The ANC has represented a false hope dilemma to a nation thirsty for liberation.

Now slowly the people are waking up from that dream state of freedom but not really free governance; full of democratic titles without implementations. Well the president has messed up everything for everyone; i mean everyone. he has just over turned patterns of 94; rather rubbing our masters the wrong way. the question now is what will white supremacy do to get the people back in the Mandela dream. The people need a new lie. Or Another politician that speaks Mandela.

In all fairness i am not for the involvement of the gupta family as i am not for the current white supremacy structure in Afrikan governance. but the role of the media that is rather concerning. As though its a reaction tool to tap into our subconscious and active an alarming response. Now that we wanna know the shenanigans of the gupta family with the greedy President. .then we can slow down on land issues, decolonising the education system and nationalisation of resources. Well there’s more headlines to keep us busy with not angry and out of focus.